i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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