3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize