Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
