About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
