I think im going to throw up on grandma
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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