I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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