Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
