dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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