walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
