Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
