It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
