yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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