would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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