do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
