yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
