ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
