Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
