I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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