this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
