Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
