I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
