All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
