i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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