i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just pee around me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
