i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
