If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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