if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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