Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
