The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
