the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
from now on my penis is your penis
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
