No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
