how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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