my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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