dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
