I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize