She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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