I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
