I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
