Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i came on her dog
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
