how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you had me at cake vodka
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
