it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
