I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize