Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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