Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
