As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
