Farmville is her only friend.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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