you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
