I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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