Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
