yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i need some magic done to my vagina
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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