everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize