We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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