one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
PANTIES FOUND
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
