I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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