Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
