I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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