Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
