Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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