i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They have beer where we have blood.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
