He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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