she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
