Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
